On Going from Cheerleader to Geek in One Year

I was a cheerleader.

It started in elementary school in Puerto Rico. The two brothers across the street- we’ll call them Steve and Don – played for the local pee-wee football team. Don was the quarterback. Don played Defense. Not sure what position. But then again I had the crush on Don and he was the QB so who cared what position Don played???

Anyhow, my sister Helen and I became cheerleaders. We learned all the old stand-bys: U-G-L-Y you ain’t got no alibi. You’r e UGLY.

Ok fine, we learned Defense and Offense and understood the “first down” and “touchdown” signals and the significance of the moving of chains. As I grew up, the whole cheerleader thing came with me. And when we moved to Costa Rica, another friend and I started the cheerleading squad at our school there.

I’ve mentioned before that I was always kind of awkward. Lanky, scraggly hair, out of touch with fashion (thanks mom). So being a cheerleader – in a uniform – kind of helped me to fit in. By the time I was a Junior in High School, I was doing ok. We had a vibrant cheerleading squad packed with “popular” girls. And I was among them.

Then one day my dad comes home and says: “Hey, kids we’re moving to Miami!”

Screech!

Nooooooooo!!!

That noise? It came from the high school principal. He called Dad and offered to let me live with his family till I graduated from High School. C’mon – I was a cheerleader plus (notsomuchastar) on the basketball and volleyball teams.

Dad said no.

We moved.

To Miami.

Where everyone was fashionable (my clothes weren’t – fashion trends were 2 years behind in Central America).

Where kids smoked, drank and did drugs. (I was sheltered.)

Where there was no way in Hell I’d make the Cheerleading squad.

Where I got picked on.

Where suddenly: I was a geek.

A cute, tall, green-eyed Spaniard took a liking to me, despite my geek-dom. He became my boyfriend. A girl in our class didn’t like that so much. I guess he was one of those “fringe” people: too edgy to be cool but still liked by the popular girls. I was a geek. Not good enough for him. Anyway, she hated it and me.

Apparently she threatened bodily harm. I found out because a tough Latina girl in my dance class told me. Picture this:

Tough Latina girl (in a leotard): “I hear you got trouble, geek.”

Me (in a leotard): “Me? I’m fine. I have no problems with you. Anyone. “ (Smiling, terrified.)

Tough Latina girl: “No, not with me. With her. (Pointing at scowling white girl, in a leotard, in the corner.)

Me: Smiling at the scowling white girl “I have no problems.”

Tough Latina girl: “She wants to kick your ass. And because you’re one of us (Latina) my girls and I? We’ll protect you. (Points at tougher-looking Latina girls standing nearby. Not looking so tough in leotards.)

The scowling white girl growled. I accepted the protection.

That night, I cried.

GEEK? I’m a fucking cheerleader! I’m not a geek!!

But with every passing day, I realized that I was. I am.

Maybe not a geek. But definitely awkward.