Smiling Through the Tears

Last night my son (aka “the kid”) learned about “happy crying.” Completely out of the blue.

We were driving home after a good Easter filled with great food, friends and some bowling. Can’t quite remember why, but he asked me what we could do to make sure we’d live a long time. We started out talking about healthy eating habits and exercise – all stuff he gets regularly from his dad and me but we were able to discuss it in more detail because he was really interested.

But then I started talking to him about having a healthy mind. How using your brain – by reading and writing, doing math, science…could help him to keep his brain strong as he aged. He eagerly accepted this notion. So I took the opportunity to talk about Alzheimer’s.

See, there’s been a lot of Alzheimer’s in our family – on his dad’s side and on mine. I told him how I named him after my maternal grandfather and that – while my grandfather forgot my mother, my aunt, his wife and many others – he never really forgot the kid. Until the day my grandfather died, he had a framed picture of the kid in his nursing home room. “That little boy, he lives in California,” grandpa would say. “And he was named after me.” They say he’d beam proudly as he told the story.

I told the kid about that. How we all loved grandpa. How he had only gotten to meat grandpa once – when he was very ill. But that grandpa was happy when he died because he knew this beautiful little boy had been named after him. Grandpa was happy in the knowledge that he was loved that much.

“Mama, I just cried a little just now,” the kid said.

“Why, baby?” I asked.

“Because that story just made me happy,” he said. “It made me happy and sad that I made your grandpa happy.”

“Do people sometimes cry when they are happy?” he asked.

“Yes, baby, people cry when they are happy all of the time,” I answered through the tears.

And I smiled.