Some Things I Learned From My Mother

The kid and I had blueberry pie for dinner the other night – on Mothers Day. Before you all get up in arms, I’ll say that we ate plenty of good stuff throughout the day. At the end of the night, all we wanted was pie. Which I made from scratch, using fresh blueberries, and with my own two hands. Yes, I even made the crust.

This is something I learned from my mother. And to celebrate Mothers Day (late, I know), I’ll now pay tribute to the woman who gave me so much, and whom I’ve thanked not nearly enough.

Here are just a few things I’ve learned from my mother.

How to bake. From scratch, and with fresh ingredients. I bake bread, pies, cakes…pretty much whatever… with little fear. I won’t lie: I’ve messed up my share of baked goods. But most of what I bake comes out pretty well. Even the onion pie I talked about in my previous post.

How to cook. Elaborate stuff, easy stuff. Pretty much whatever. I grill and bake better than I cook but I can hold my own in the kitchen, and I can come up with a good meal with pretty much whatever I have in the fridge or the pantry.

At least 1/3 of your plate should contain vegetables. Her preference was always salad. To this day I love making up a huge salad packed with good stuff. And now the kid loves it too. I consider this a win.

Last one about food: Breakfast for dinner is awesome. Sometimes chocolate cake or pie is fabulous for breakfast. The idea: as long as it’s good food and you balance it all out throughout the day, who cares when you eat what? Ergo fresh blueberry pie for dinner.

How to write. (Sort of.) Mom read incessantly. I still remember being annoyed at her insistence to read Jane Austen to us as pre-teens. Today? I’d read it over and over. The reading instilled a love for language and made me the writer I am today. And I later discovered that she is a really good writer (witness her posts last year about The Green Chicken).

Don’t judge a book by its cover. Mom was a great judge of character. I’ve written about this before: she insisted on getting to know all of my friends – our house was always the “gathering house.” And she wasn’t shy about tellin’ me who I couldn’t hang out with – cuz she knew them all.

To curse. I had a date tell me once that I curse with really good inflection. And I once made Samuel L. Jackson laugh at how well I deliver “MF.” My mom says she didn’t curse till she met my father. I’m not buying it given how well she does it now. No matter. She taught me well.

Patience. I must note that this post is all about the things I learned from my mother. I never said I applied all of these learnings to my life. I’m decidedly impatient. But I’m also decidedly aware of when my impatience is a really bad thing.

Children are precious. Not sure I need to say any more here. I’ll say it again: children are precious. Not just mine, but yours, and hers, and his too. And we need to love them and care for them and teach them to be the wonderful people they can be.

Pets are family too. We grew up with dogs, cats, horses, birds (remember the green chicken?), guinea pigs… you name it. And we loved and cared for every one and cried rivers at the passing of each. Beyond the whole being nice to animals thing, this affection for animals taught me empathy. I’ve passed the love of animals on to my son, who is one of the most empathic kids I know.

Be yourself - always. I haven’t always lived this one…neither has she, really. But the bottom line is this: it’s important to surround yourself with people who want to be there for who you truly are – not for some façade. I know – tough to do in L.A. (sorry, Hollywood) but something I’ve pledged to do more of.

I could go on for hours but I won’t. I started writing this post *last* Mothers Day. But I’ll say this. My mother raised four children in six countries, which required her to learn two languages in addition to English AFTER she turned 23. She was supporting and loving wife, mother, mentor, coach and friend extraordinaire. She’s answered questions about life, love, career and sex with full honesty and zero panic. And she’s checked in, gently nudged and bitch-slapped me – and everything in between – with equal parts love, annoyance and consistency.

My biggest hope? That someday I’ll be as good of a mom as she is.